I Should Have Told You That I Loved You More

I Should Have Told You That I Loved You More

The ringing of the school bells drew the cold as you freed my hand
Smiling from ear to ear,
Your eyes always bore into mine
Blushing as we go,
We were hiding our smiles from everyone we knew
Our coded stares had slipped through
Mindlessly, we thought so…

While everybody else was finding seats
We were finding each other
With the chaos of the chairs
We had aligned our feelings
One tile for each future,
We were floating in cloud 9,
Only seeing the clarity
It was red and unbending,
Magical and unending

With the ticking of the clock
We waited for every session to end
That we could hang out again,
Unminding the strong wind
As you always rubbed your palms
And pressed them against my cheeks
I felt safe that I could forever rely on
On the warmth that you gave

Talking with you ‘till 2 AM
Had been the haven we had flown
Hushed voices,
Careful laughter,
Even the walls could have never known
I could hear your smiles,
I could see your sparkling eyes,
And I could feel your calloused hands
I should have told you that I loved you —
Even over the phone

The December cold had passed
The school year was ending
Our dreams were set,
There could be no more pretending
That we were made for eternity,
We had been so sure
Not knowing that after a chapter had closed
We, too, had blown

We were not ready for life,
Never ready at all
The milieu wasn’t the same,
The cold biting to the bones
The chairs, the tiles, the clock, the walls, and the 2 AM were unlike before
We were different, too,
We became the strangers we both had never known…

It had been so fast,
How things went downhill
The same hands that warmed me
Became cold which made me shudder
Our dull smiles were louder;
Our lifeless voices faltered.
Distance had torn us into shreds,
The fate that bound us — so cruel

Time had been as cruel too
As I always saw your face
In the unfamiliar crowd, I found myself into
In many instances,
I couldn’t place the voice I was hearing with the person I knew
The pursuit of happiness had been harder
But we never thought it would be that hard
In the pursuit of our dreams,
We had to let go of each other’s hands

Here I am in my new apartment,
Looking down the strange city
Where neither our dreams are from
Thinking, I should have told you that I loved you more while I can…
Now, as a close my eyes,
I hear the wedding bells ring,
Sending shivers down my spine
I can only imagine you looking up the aisle,
Your eyes never ever seeing mine.

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