The dawn is creeping in
in this rainy first of July,
and I see only your face as I open my eyes.
Your lips, your lashes, your breath, and your youth
sleeps soundly beside me
like I always dreamt you would.
Counting the days to the tenth till you’re gone
Is never easy,
I wish I can freeze time.
I can beg the gods to make you stay always as I wake up.
But time is cruel,
as it counts down,
there is no turning back.
This fourth of July
is everything that I will remember of you.
I wake up with your hands wrapped around my body
By nighttime, we went outside to see the fireworks
like we always do.
I look up at the heavens
smiling at the sparkling lights,
then I look at you;
Your tear-stained face brightens in the shadows.
Seeing your face as I wake up is familiar and bright, the burst of all the colors
even before the sun hits high,
Your curled up body
draped in sheets and pressed into mine,
It pains me to realize
that the counted days are nearly over the line.
The ninth is the most brutal
as I keep pretending that everything will be fine.
Looking into your eyes,
I see the same pretense you are trying to hide.
We spend the whole morning of the tenth cuddling
I do not want to leave my bed
only to see you out my door.
And as I wake on the eleventh,
you truly are gone;
no smiling face I see,
no heavy breaths close to mine.
The bed is made up on the side where you slept,
and from here onwards,
I’ll be waking up with tears streaming down my face.